Jamaican a baby

OTTAWA—Having kids is expensive. The first time my wife and I found out we were pregnant I was tagging along on her work trip to Bangkok, Thailand. She was on a United Nations stipend and I spent the last of the money I’d made landscaping in Vancouver on the flight. Anybody who has had either of these two jobs knows this leaves you in a state of abject poverty. So, when my better half told me she felt something and wanted to get a pregnancy test, we opted for the $1 offering at the convenience store across the street from the hostel. We went through five tests trying to confirm which line was which. That confirmation was solidified after we purchased a $5 test. A doctor confirmed that test when we returned to our then home in Mongolia. Eight years later, we had learned our lesson. Some things you can buy generic, like ketchup or Tadalafil. With home pregnancy tests, buy brand name. Despite the fact that First Response sounds like a firefighter is going to kick down your bathroom door after you’ve done a pee, they work. That’s how, in the suburbs of Kingston, Jamaica, we found out we were having our second kid. With Jamaican citizenship off the table, Andrew Elliott and his wife welcomed their second daughter on Dec. 31, 2023, in Ottawa. Photograph courtesy of Andrew Elliott Like in Canada, if you’re born on Jamaican soil, you have a right to Jamaican citizenship and all the privileges that go with it. That is, unless you happen to be born to a diplomat. The rather grey, and yet allegedly specific, set of rules that govern a life abroad indicate that your offspring will not be granted foreign citizenship. With that incentive off the table, we made the decision to come back to Canada to deliver. Other factors, most prominently my wife being designated a high-risk pregnancy, played a larger role in that decision, but I’m willing to lean into being deflated because my youngest daughter won’t be able to represent Jamaica in the amateur sport of her choosing in the 2042 Commonwealth Games. We got pregnant with each of our kids while living abroad, but delivered both in Ontario. The first time we had been out of the country too long for our OHIP to kick back in by the time our daughter was ready to come out. She was born on private insurance linked to my wife’s job with the United Nations. We saw the bill (a rarity for Canadians). It was around $16,000 in Sudbury for an uncomplicated natural birth. The second time around was the same, but like everything else, the price has gone up. Because of our status as diplomats, my wife is covered by private health insurers. One for medical claims in Canada, and another for medical claims on posting in Jamaica. All medical claims. Consider all the joy one gets when figuring out the co-pay with regards to any prescriptions you have, and then add that to every medical encounter you go through while pregnant. I know prices have gone up because most of these costs are paid up front, and I now have enough Scene points to see all the upcoming Phase 6 movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, whether I want to or not. We settled into a birthing room at the Civic Hospital on the evening of Dec. 29. I bought more Tim Hortons products that weekend than I have in my entire life, including the time I had a job at one. If ever there was a place that needed a pub, it’s the maternity ward in a hospital. It would only be accessible to the non-birthing partners who could sit and commiserate and pay hospital—rivalling airport or stadium—prices for beer. There is next to nothing to do while waiting for your significant other to go into labour. The chairs provided for anyone not squeezing out a kid seem to be designed to make you feel as if you have, too. I think we can kill two birds with one stone when the new Ottawa Hospital Civic Campus is built: high-back leather chairs in a maternity-ward pub. We can call it the Stork and Swaddle, and charge $15.50 a pint. We spent four days in the hospital, our daughter was born on the third. While kids are expensive, my second is already saving us money. She was born at 5:20 a.m. on Dec. 31, meaning we won’t have to pay for another full year of daycare. Andrew Elliott has spent two decades hosting radio shows around the world, most recently in Ottawa, and now writes stuff from his home in Kingston, Jamaica. The Hill Times

Jamaican a baby

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Jamaican a baby

The rather grey, and yet allegedly specific, set of rules that govern a life abroad for diplomats indicate that your offspring will not be granted foreign citizenship.

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